How much of this project is informed by actual paleontology?

While we tried our best to incorporate the appropriate science where we saw fit, paleontology is at best an educated guess based on nothing more than bones [citation needed].  After all, if future species dug up the bones of homo sapiens, they might believe our rib cages were lasers coming out of our bodies!

I am a fifth grade science teacher, and I am concerned about the accuracy of this musical when heard by little ears.  Were you aware that Triceratops and Brontosaurs were separated by almost 70 million years of evolution? 

Yes.

I am a fifth grade science teacher, and I am concerned about the accuracy of this musical when heard by little ears of corn. Will plants be able to hear this musical? 

No.

Why is the song “Tyrant Lizard King” played on a mandolin?  Shouldn’t the T-rex be deserving of a more loud and powerful song?

Power and loudness are relative.  After looking at a picture, anyone can see the only instrument a T-rex could play would be the mandolin or ukulele.  I mean, look at those forearms!  And the mandolin, with its 8 strings, is certainly more powerful than a weak 4-stringed ukulele.

Could you list a few of the grandiose phrases band members have used when describing this project?

Gladly!  Apart from having “allegorical overtones,” band members have also referred to characters as being “Dickensian” and have discussed at length the socio-political ramifications of a culture fiercely opposed to science. They also remain convinced that occasional winks to paleontologists will redeem the piece of its problematic historical authenticity.

I notice that in lots of pictures, Triceratops have a sort of ridge coming out behind their head!  How does that figure into Herb and Janet’s saga?

Good eye!  Rosie and the Trucks decided a long time ago that we weren’t going to start judging these animals just by the skeletons they left behind, so we tried to avoid making any snap decisions about the bony ridge you’ve discovered.  Between you and me, though, we think it is a form of satellite dish.

I was mumbling the other day and thought that “Herb and Janet” kind of sounds like “Herbivore”?

Not really!

I find it troubling that the dinosaurs in this musical have not only telescopes and bicycles, but there is talk of rocket ships!  Dinosaurs had small brains, so how could they have built these things, and why isn’t there any evidence of them?

It is typical human arrogance to assume that just because we have a specific brain structure, that all animals have the same brain structure.  As to how these dinosaurs created all these inventions, it’s always difficult to say, but we believe (through the powers of imagination!) they had several linked brains [some in the stomach, feet, head, certain projections of the vertebral arch that connect adjacent vertebrae (ie, zygapophyses), etc.] which afforded them great intelligence.  As for the lack of fossil records of their possessions, we believe any hyperintelligent society will naturally begin to create biodegradable substances, for the good of the environment.

What is your opinion of Othniel Charles Marsh?

From our research [citation needed], we found that this late 19th century paleontologist made significant errors in his discoveries of Janet’s and Herb’s dinosaur-types.  He incorrectly identified Triceratops bones as those of a bison, and created a new genus of dinosaur (Brontosaurus) that for decades was considered just a rediscovery of Apatosauruses! Silly Othniel! Sadly, it was only after he had passed that his claim of Bronto being distinct from Apato was vindicated by E.T. (also lovingly referred to as “Emanuel Tschopp”).

So is Janet a brontosaurus, or an apatosaurus? I am confused?!

Well, Mr. Marsh must have had a knack for marketing, because the brontosaurus name stuck much better than the name apatosaurus, even throughout the time period in which they were considered the same!  Perhaps this was because the public was tiring of dinosaur names starting with the letter “a” and was ready for some change.  Marsh went with a name starting with “b” since the number of “b” dinosaurs is not even half of the number of “a” dinosaurs.  We decided that we should use the more well known name for this genus of dinosaurs so people could relate better, especially the children.  We want them to have a good time!  Do you NOT want them to have a good time?

I, Elmer Riggs, famously said “As the term ‘apatosaurus’ has priority, ‘brontosaurus’ will be regarded as a synonym.” [Riggs, E. S. (August 1903). "Structure and Relationships of Opisthocoelian Dinosaurs. Part I, Apatosaurus Marsh" (PDF). Publications of the Field Columbian Museum Geographical Series. 2 (4): 165–196.]

I don’t know where I stand on this issue as it relates to the musical.

We jumped a bit in our seats when we first read this comment, since at the exact moment we finished reading it, the tea kettle pierced the night with its steamy, whistley song! And luckily, through divine providence or through the fates looking with benevolent favor upon our confused visages, we had a few sweet sips of that lemon ginger on the lips of our visages to give us time to get the mind wheels behind our visages cranking. And by golly, you almost got our visages, and we almost got revealed as absolute egg-visaged fools. But as of the writing of this FAQ with tea warming our bellies and oxygen warming our lungs, ol’ Elmer would be 155 years old, so this must be a prank!

It’s not a question anyway. And even if this somehow is Elmer, according to E.T., you were wrong.

I LOVE Pax Dinosaurius, but on the other hand, I also like horses.  What should I do?

Why, you should read the answer to your question, that is what you should do!  A little bit after the dinosaur age on earth, there came a minute horse named the dawn horse that was only about one to two feet tall.  This horse had many traits.  Through the magic of "Authorial License," Rosie and the Trucks have conveniently relocated this creature to the time period of dinosaurs, for improved rhyming and metaphorical cogency.

Did the herbivore society that elected the Council of Mayors allow early voting?

Sadly, most of the records of dinosaur voting have been lost to time. But you’ve hit the nail on the head—this was one issue that kept progress on this project from moving forward for quite some time! But finally, after 15 years of struggle and intense research to find the right sources on this, we remembered we made the Council of Mayors up! We then finished the rest of the musical in one week.

I looked up the monkey puzzle tree on the internet and saw that its leaves clearly could be obtained by a short triceratops. Why does Herb say Janet has to get him these precious leaves?

Well, trees are very old life forms. We are no arborists, but we would assume the leaves near the bottom are quite old, as they have been with the tree since close to the beginning of its existence.  The leaves at the top are fresh and taste much better.  Also, triceratops probably had a hard time lifting their heads upwards (remember the satellite dish ridge we discussed earlier?)

I hav to right a paper on dinosores. Can I kopy this?

Watch out, you may soon be visited by the lawyer-saurus!

I have some comments. Is there any way to contact you?

Sure! We’ve set up a very simple, innovative contact solution framework:

• For any compliments or discussions involving giving us money to further pursue this ambitious project, please use this contact solution!

• For any criticisms or discussions involving taking our money as some sort of recompense for wasting your precious limited time upon our glorious earth, please use this contact solution!

I understand your group is one of the most prominent researchers regarding the occurrence of evil parades in societies.  Was this an occurrence in dinosaur times?

If one is not careful, the risk of evil parades is always lurking. And that goes for dinosaurs too.